back when i was in community college my teacher told us the story of a girl in his class who wanted to have sex with her boyfriend but they didnt have any lube so they used mayonnaise. fast forward a couple of days and she’s getting random orgasms during class and driving places so she goes to the doctor and they check her out and guess what they found
okay ill tell you it was maggots. maggots were in her vagina giving her orgasms.
Things I don’t wanna mothafuckin talk about:
- My mothafuckin acne
- How mothafuckin tired I look
- My mothafuckin future
- My mothafuckin eating habits
Things I DO wanna mothafuckin talk about:
- This mothafuckin SMILIN PIGGY IN A BLANKET:
LOOK AT HOW CUTE THAT LIL FUCKER IS. THIS IS WHAT DREAMS ARE MOTHAFUCKIN MADE OF.
i talk a lot of shit for someone who’s scared to make a phone call tbh
do twins ever realize one of them was unplanned